Stop Looking at Them. Start Looking at Yourself.

Modern people have been taught to look everywhere except where the problem actually is.

They look at their spouse.

They look at their children.

They look at politicians.

They look at their neighbors.

They look at social media.

They look at entire groups of people and blame them for everything that is wrong in their lives.

But they rarely look within.

The world teaches us that our problems are outside of us. If only our husband would change. If only our wife would change. If only our children listened. If only society agreed with us. If only everyone else would do what we want.

Then we'd finally be happy.

But that happiness never comes because the problem was never outside to begin with.

Marriage is perhaps where this becomes most obvious.

Today, many people enter relationships with a list of demands. They demand understanding. They demand validation. They demand appreciation. Above all, they demand respect.

And when they don't get exactly what they want, they become angry.

Especially today, many people have become convinced that disagreement is an attack. If you want something different than they want, you become the bad guy. If you point out a problem, you become the enemy. If you challenge an idea, they feel personally attacked.

Women are particularly vulnerable to this because women have been especially taught by modern culture to lead with emotion. Rather than being encouraged to pursue truth regardless of how they feel, many have been taught that their feelings should guide their decisions and define reality itself. When emotions become the standard, disagreement can feel like a personal attack rather than an opportunity to seek understanding.

Then the arguments begin.

The shouting.

The blaming.

The emotional reactions.

And nothing gets solved.

Why?

Because angry people cannot solve problems.

An angry person cannot see clearly.

An angry person cannot listen.

An angry person cannot understand.

An angry person cannot love.

When someone becomes emotional and angry, everything they dislike becomes an enemy. Every uncomfortable truth becomes an attack. Every disagreement becomes a battle.

And if you're the one bringing up the issue, you become the enemy too.

This is why so many arguments go nowhere.

The issue isn't the issue anymore.

The anger becomes the issue.

If possible, leave it alone.

Unless it is an emergency that absolutely must be addressed, walk away.

Not because you're weak.

Not because you're surrendering.

But because nothing good comes from trying to reason with anger.

The same applies to your own anger.

If you are unwilling to let an issue go, if you feel compelled to force the conversation, force the outcome, or force another person to see things your way, then you have become part of the problem.

The anger in you has attached itself to the anger in them.

Now darkness is fighting darkness.

Neither side can see clearly.

Neither side is interested in truth.

Both sides only want victory.

Very few people actually want truth.

Truth requires something most people are unwilling to do.

It requires looking within.

It requires seeing your own pride.

Your own resentment.

Your own selfishness.

Your own anger.

And most people don't want that.

Instead, they choose emotionalism.

They choose whatever feels good in the moment.

If something challenges their self-image, they become defensive.

If something makes them uncomfortable, they become angry.

If something exposes a weakness, they attack the messenger.

Because anger protects the ego.

But anger also blinds it.

Anger makes you blind to what is happening.

Blind to how to deal with the situation.

Blind to how to deal with other people.

And most importantly, blind to the darkness within yourself.

There is no love in anger.

None.

People often confuse love with emotional attachment, emotional pleasure, or emotional comfort.

But that isn't love.

If it were, people wouldn't be able to "love" someone today and hate them tomorrow.

They wouldn't be able to adore someone one moment and despise them the next.

Yet we see it every day.

Someone feels good, so they call it love.

Someone hurts their feelings, so they call it hate.

Then tomorrow they receive flowers, an apology, a compliment, or some other emotional reward, and suddenly the "love" returns.

That isn't love.

That's emotional dependency.

Real love doesn't come from emotional highs and lows.

Real love comes from truth.

From patience.

From understanding.

From forgiveness.

From the absence of self-centered anger.

The world teaches us to focus on others.

God calls us to examine ourselves.

The world says, "Fix them."

Truth says, "Look within."

The world says, "Fight."

Truth says, "Be still."

The world says, "Win the argument."

Truth says, "Overcome the darkness inside yourself."

Because until we do that, every problem outside of us will simply become another battlefield for the anger within us.

And anger has never brought anyone closer to truth.

It has only blinded them from seeing it.

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Created by Eric Forth
Faith. Family. Order. Truth

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Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or licensed medical professional. Content on this site is for informational and personal growth purposes only and should not be considered medical advice.o